I have doubts.

I have not been to church for the last months. In my long way back from work I have been wondering about religion and all that. I grew up in a catholic school. None of the priests there were child molestors, and I do not remember anybody repressing me or not allowing me to express myself. Actually, I have only good memories of all that time when I was well behaved.
The thing is that now my Mom is not here to go with me to church. Then I watch the news and see all these people killing each other for religious reasons. Poor people, sick people, hopeless people, selfish people. The question that hits me immediately is: WHY??
The thing is that I really do not want to drift away. I do believe and I do have reasons for that...
For this , I decided to remind myself of what God told Job when he asked him the same WHY???:

Gird up now thy loins like a man; for I will demand of thee, and answer thou me.
Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding.
Who hath laid the measures thereof, if thou knowest? or who hath stretched the line upon it?
Whereupon are the foundations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof;

When the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy?
Or who shut up the sea with doors, when it brake forth, as if it had issued out of the womb?

Canst thou bind the sweet influences of Pleiades, or loose the bands of Orion?
Knowest thou the ordinances of heaven? canst thou set the dominion thereof in the earth?

Maybe I have been pretentious trying to understand something that not even the wisest have been able to acknowledge so far. There are so many things that do not have an explanation...or at least not a human one.

Maybe I am getting better.